God says he wants to take care of me, that I am his betrothed. But I can never let it go at that. I say, "But Lord, I have responsibilities..." "Your responsibility is me." Every question has a simple answer with him. I hate that. I hate that because I am not a simple being. Everything is so complicated for me. I have to concentrate to be simple.
I worry less if I trusted more. But I think a part of me is afraid if I trust completely these balls I've been juggling will fall. But I am coming to realize even if they fall, so what? Love, be full of joy and don't worry. Be happy. This is what I hear him telling me and I'm like, "What? Have you seen my life lately?"
I know I complicate matters. I know I overanalyze everything. It is time for me to find my zen haha. I need to trust in him more. He told me I decide not to worry. He can't take worry away. It has to be a decision I make. Like most habits, it can only be broken by deciding to be different. It is perhaps the worst addiction, worry. I think it is so much a part of who we are at this point, so connected to our humanity, it will take constant endurance not to fall back into it. Let us decide not to worry today. let us trust. For he is able to provide for our every need, and then some. Trust.
